signs . . .

I can't believe its past 5 in the afternoon already and all I did today in relation to my job is to answer the accrual sheet that was rotated for the LMs...wow I mean, after that weekend back home, I must admit I am a little bit shaken career-wise. Not that I realized I don't want my job anymore (that will take another 2 or 3 years more) but because I saw the need to come home or at least chose a job that's nearer.

The intensity of that realization is so powerful I am so confused and perhaps disoriented in terms of at least proceeding with what I am supposed to be doing right now. =(

It was a good thing Toff was here awhile ago, made me do something not really work...but I'm bothered because I know I have a lot to do as of the moment and at the same time, I can't seem to put my energies at doing it because I feel like telling my boss already that I "have" to resign and not "want" to resign. . . ugggghhh

I'm hating this feeling.I went home last Friday knowing with all my heart it will be like this (flying to and from in the next 2 to 3 years) but I came back last night with a heavy heart feeling that I just have to finish up things and then quit my job.

I saw my baby Angel's face and I knew...

I saw my mom's hidden and torn desire for me to be there at her side yet she also doesn't want to stop and deprive me from all these opportunities.

I saw my father very worried but really trying to feign a "he-is-Okay" feeling.

I saw amy needing a friend and a sister back.

I saw the house and I soOoOo felt that I had to come home...

Or maybe I was just feeling all those? =(